Halloweeny fun:

Haha, just kidding, mo fun for you ingrates. Anyway, my Saw review:

A Great Movie

HAHA Wasn't that great? Moving on, my mom was reading an article in the NY Times about "Rockism" which I thougt was incredibly stupid. It discussed music critics who only like music that "rocks" and are scornful of lip-synchers, pop-trash and other unsavory musical items. As she was reading this, and the writer (a woman) feebly pointed out the faults of the "Rockists" and every time I thought: 'so?'. Apparently it's now a crime to have an opinion about music that doesn't agree with the bleeding-heart liberal's skewed sense of open-mindedness. The point is, contrary to the writer's idea, that Rock 'n' Roll does remain the kingly body of music these days, and without it, I'd burn every radio I came across with disgust. People get sort of patronizing when baby boomers and gen x'ers say "they dont make music like they used to", when they don't realize that it is completely true. Thank god for bands like THE STROKES and Stalin's 'Stache; without them, music would be dead, just like TV and art already are.

More Lyrics! YAY!

All you women who want a man of the street
But you don't know which way you wanna turn
Just keep a coming and put your hand out to me
'Cause I'm the one who's gonna make you burn
I'm gonna take you down - down, down, down
So don't you fool around
I'm gonna pull it, pull it, pull the trigger
Shoot to thrill, play to kill
Too many women with too many pills
Shoot to thrill, play to kill
I got my gun at the ready, gonna fire at will

Yeah

I'm like evil, I get under your skin
Just like a bomb that's ready to blow
'Cause I'm illegal, I got everything
That all you women might need to know
I'm gonna take you down - yeah, down, down, down
So don't you fool around
I'm gonna pull it, pull it, pull the trigger
Shoot to thrill, play to kill
Too many women with too many pills
Shoot to thrill, play to kill
I got my gun at the ready, gonna fire at will
'Cause I shoot to thrill, and I'm ready to kill
I can't get enough, I can't get the thrill
I shoot to thrill, play to kill
Yeah, pull the trigger
Pull it, pull it, pull it, pull the trigger

Oh

Shoot to thrill, play to kill
Too many women, with too many pills
I said, shoot to thrill, play to kill
I got my gun at the ready, gonna fire at will
'Cause I shoot to thrill, and I'm ready to kill
And I can't get enough, and I can't get my thrill
'Cause I shoot to thrill, play it again

Yeah

Shoot you down
YeahI'm gonna get you to the bottom and shoot you
I'm gonna shoot you
Oh hoo yeah yeah yeah
I'm gonna shoot you down yeah yeah
I'm gonna get you down
Yeah yeah yeah yeah

Shoot you, shoot you, shoot you, shoot you down
Shoot you, shoot you, shoot you down
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, ooooooh
I'm gonna shoot to thrill
Play to kill
Shoot to thrill

yeah, ooh yeah


Stay tuned for "Saw" review!

A note on assholes:

They stink and they're fulla shit. Anyway, I can't wait to "see 'Saw'" see-saw. Get it? Ah, fuck you all.

A funny revelation:

In hentai, all of the guys have big dicks, which is ironic considering the atomic blasts in japan permanently shrunk the japs' cocks.

Anyway, today's rant is about the midwest. I have relatives there, it's true, but they'd be infinitely cooler if they lived in a better place. Point is, censorship reigns unchecked in that backwards part of the nation, and I'm getting sick and tired of fat, ugly, middle-aged housewives lobbying for their "just causes". Maybe of you pulled the huge stick out of your ass, lady, your kids wouldn't go out and drink themselves to death or listen to the misfits or whatever. It is your inane hypocritical behavior that is causing your errant kids to do "bad" things, not violent videogames, music, and movies. Just because your wrinkly cunt won't be fucked by anyone doesn't mean you have to crusade to keep teens outof R-rated movies or internet security bullshit. Just know that when the shit hits the fan and the country goes to chaos, I'm setting my sights on the varicose veins on your blubbery hamhocks.

P.S. You can take your protestant, puritan values and shove them up your ass, if there is any room, you whores!

ALL BOW DOWN!

The name of the band: "Stalin's 'Stache"
The members:
Eli- Drums, creative leader, lyricist
Eric- Lead guitar, computer tech, t-shirt guy, writer (maybe)
Max- Rhythm guitar, mutton chops, writer (maybe)
Jesse- Bass, singing, "most unknown band mate"
The Website: www.stalinsstache.com
The Clothing Line: http://www.cafepress.com/stachestash

And without further ado (and plagarism) the name of the first album: Ed Sullivan's Carcass (HAHA JOHN HIJACK'D)

A day missed!

I went on a trip yesterday, and so I couldn't update. Anyway, if something interesting happens in the near future, I'll be sure to update it; my brain is very weary...

A "revelation":

It's a long way to the top if you wanna rock 'n' roll! But seriously folks, I had 4 tests today which means I'm brain-fried. So, without further ado, the lyrics to another great AC/DC song:

Ridin' down the highway
Goin' to a show
Stop in all the byways
Playin' rock 'n' roll
Gettin' robbed
Gettin' stoned
Gettin' beat up
Broken boned
Gettin' had
Gettin' took
I tell you folks
It's harder than it looks

It's a long way to the top if you wanna rock 'n' roll
It's a long way to the top if you wanna rock 'n' roll
If you think it's easy doin' one night stands
Try playin' in a rock roll band
It's a long way to the top if you wanna rock 'n' roll

Hotel motel
Make you wanna cry
Lady do the hard sell
Know the reason why
Gettin' old
Gettin' grey
Gettin' ripped off
Under-paid
Gettin' sold
Second hand
That's how it goes
Playin' in a band

It's a long way to the top if you wanna rock 'n' roll
It's a long way to the top if you wanna rock 'n' roll
If you wanna be a star of stage and screen
Look out it's rough and mean

It's a long way to the top if you wanna rock 'n' roll
It's a long way to the top if you wanna rock 'n' roll
It's a long way to the top if you wanna rock 'n' roll
It's a long way to the top if you wanna rock 'n' roll

Well it's a long way
It's a long way, you should've told me
It's a long way, such a long way

A new saying for being prepared: Tying your mittens to your sleeves.

I love it when...

Kids horribly ruin their lives by saying stupid things. It happens all the time, and it hasto be true; it was on tv!

Anyway, another music bitch and rant. Mostly rant. Anyway, kids these days (it's always those damned kids) aren't even listening to music. Reason being, music made by today's top 40 artists are completely lacking in the spirit of sex, drugs, and rock 'n' roll. It's all watered down, and it all sounds the same. Now for the rant: FUCK SHIT ASS NIGGER COCK COCAINE!!! CUNT ASS DICK KIKE SHIT!!

For lack of a better update:

The Lyrics to "Thunderstruck":

(Thunder) (x10)
I was caught
In the middle of a railroad track
I looked round
And I knew there was no turning back (Thunder)
My mind raced
And I thought what could I do (Thunder)
And I knew
There was no help, no help from you (Thunder)

Sound of the drums
Beatin' in my heart
The thunder of guns
Tore me apart
You've been - thunderstruck

Rode down the highway
Broke the limit, we hit the town
Went through to Texas, yeah Texas
And we had some fun
We met some girls
Some dancers who gave a good time
Broke all the rules, played all the fools
Yeah, yeah, they, they, they blew our minds

I was shakin' at the knees
Could I come again please?
Yeah the ladies were too kind
You've been - thunderstruck, thunderstruck
Yeah yeah yeah, thunderstruck

Yeah
Oh, thunderstruck, yeah

Now we're shaking at the knees
Could I come again please?

Thunderstruck, thunderstruck
Yeah yeah yeah, thunderstruck
Thunderstruck, yeah, yeah, yeah

Said yeah, it's alright
We're doing fine
Yeah, it's alright
We're doing fine(So fine)

Thunderstruck, yeah, yeah, yeah,
Tunderstruck, thunderstruck, thunderstruck
Whoa baby, baby, thunderstruck
You've been thunderstruck, thunderstruck
Thunderstruck, thunderstruck, thunderstruck
You've been thunderstruck

And on that note, there's nothing like the feeling of a woman's dried saliva on your face. Not a thing in the world.

A proffesion of epic proportions:

I LOVE SYLVIA KO

Now, Im sure there are some out there who would say: "Eli, no one wants to hear this shit on your site. Stop whining blah blah blah" Well Elan knows. No other among you does, you miserable wretches. So before you say "don't be so sappy you fajg" heed this warning: I have a girlfriend and You dont, so you are the fag of the bunch. I really love her and I am not ashamed or sad to say it.

On to local news, Citizen Kane is an awesome movie and you should all watch it. As of today, Razor's Edge is my favorite AC/DC album.

A note on weasles:

They rule. Now, on to sports and weather. In local news, my school newspaper is quite literally, a rag. Anyway, this post is merely filler, and I'm sure that by tommorow, the second good update will be posted. And to any of you wise crackers that non-chalantly joke "what good update" I say this: go fuck yourselves, I'm a better writer, thinker, and musician than any of you.

More intolerance from the king:

Well somethingawful.com is a great site to find out about people who are, shall we say, the dregs of society. Today's public enemy number one is the Japanophile. While Japanese culture is, on its own, very interesting and cool, Japanophiles take it way too far. Especially the anime/cosplay freaks. Freaks is what they are, and not just because they have a cultural identity crisis. Anyone who takes anything as far as the Japanophiles do have a serious mental problem. Anyway, I also hate the hard-core gamer. In fact, I hate them more. This sad bunch of greasy fat fucks and/or koreans have opted to give up any pretense of human contact for the warm, receptive glow of a computer or tv screen. The really grating thing about it is that both of these groups listen to bad music, write angsty poetry and vivdly fantasize about characters in their respective mediums in grandoise sexual scenarios. Not that I haven't ever whacked my willy to girl Ranma, but I don't make a habit of it. The point is, these people and more are unfit to make their own desicions and when I take over, I'll form a comittee that goes around correcting these irritating behaviors, with force. Lethal force.

I have seen the worst humanity has to offer, and it lives at www.xanga.com/rasputin1 . The very sad thing is, people find him funny. Namely John. Sad, sad times.

America, FUCK YEAH

Saw Team America again, and It was good. Anyway, with no proper, coherent, or original way to end this update

A recollection:

I remember now something I said to Elan a few days ago, and it is just as true now as it was then. I really fucking hate the IMDB movie boards and Amazon user reviews (less the latter than the former). Anyway, the ignoramus fat bald 30-something basement-dwelling losers who post their outrageous opinions on those sites are so infuriating, because you can't bash in their skulls for being stupid (which should be a legal practice), nor can you hold any meaningful conversation with them (imdb) because they will just call you immature for getting angry and then not say another word while you are tryingto rebuke them. Anyway, from looking at the imdb boards for ROTK, my blood pressure has risen 100 points, so I better take a rest.

You know what I hate?

Have you ever taken pride in something you do, only to find out that there are people your age and demographic who are just as good, or better? Well I fucking do. Like Ben Spinrad. He is my school's resident drummer, and the smug look he always has on his face makes me want to cut off his dick. It doesn't help either that he is part of the good to adults/bad on the inside crew. Makes jokes and what not, getting the teacher's favor, then going ehind the school and smoking and other things. And I hate their facade of helpfulness and caring. And their stupid ambercrombie and fitch clothing. It's like a really annoying cult, and I hope they all asphixiate on projectile diarrhea. Anyway, I was at a jazz gig last night, and this guy comes up to me and my crew and starts talking about commie chinese bastards and how he imporst shit from china and builds his own digital cameras, and owns nightclubs and plays in a jewish punk-rock band. The whole time he is talking to us, he is smoking cloves and pot and sporting a massive boner. It was tres disturbing.

[edit] Since this case has blown wide open, I recommend going to the homepage to see the shocking aftermath.

What a douche

I like to promote a free-thinking, free-speaking community. But Teo's incoherent ramblings have tainted my blogs for the last time. Until he decides to clean up his act, that lazy ignorant fuck's comments will all be deleted. All of them.


[edit] John brought up a good point, and since I'd hate it if Teo deleted my comments, I'd be pissed. Anyway, the ban is lifted, but you still suck, Teo.

A humble request

I request that when anonymous posters leave comments that they leave their names as well.

Another day, another dollar

Well folks, another lousy day at school, and Bill O'Reilly is a blubbering vagina. You really have to give it to Teo, he has a knack for completely making an ass of himself. His comment to my story was a rebuttle-story which was the worst insult to literature ever. EVER. So anyway, stay tuned for my rants, as they develop.

A bit of hilarious fiction

The air in the bar was thick with smoke and the smell of cheap liquor, and stuffy, as well. The patrons' low murmuring and the sounds of clinking glass were all that could be heard. The stillness of the room was broken when a man, dressed in a long, brown trenchcoat and a green porkpie hat sauntered in, his long tresses of blond hair falling down to his shoulders, taking full measure of the place. Taking a seat at the end of the bar, the man whispered something into the barkeep's ear, something that deeply disturbed the bartender, who ducked under the bar and came back up with a shotgun, but not soon enough. The stranger had whipped out his truncheon before the bartender had finished standing, and as quickly as he had come up, the bartender went down, hard. Clearly, the stranger meant business. Turning around, the stranger said, "Teo, I know you're in this bar. If you dont show yourself, everyone in here will die." The patrons, of course, were not too happy about this decree, and started unsheathing knives, cocking pistols, and other things of an unsavory nature. The stranger counted down to three, and as Teo had not yet shown himself, the stranger whipped off his coat and mowed down the motley crue with a pair of gilded 8-shooters, leaving one small, twitching man standing in the center of the conflagration. The stranger spoke: "Teo, you asshole, the bouncing souls suck. Face it and get on with life." "NEVER!", said Teo, and he lept at the stranger with ravenous fury. It was all for naught, however, as Teo soon realized Eli's arsenal was not depleted. A gleaming sword was the last thing Teo saw, out of his left eye, anyway. The stranger picked up his coat, dislodged his blade, and went out the door, throwing a handful of quarters at the bartender's unconscious body.

The dawn of a new era...

Genesis

In the beginning, there was nothing. Then there was my xanga, then my livejournal, then for a short (but glorious) time there was my xanga again. BUT BEHOLD! CRAZEDCOMMANDO.COM!


Jesus it's taken him a long time, but Andrew fianlly got me my website. So long xanga, so long livejournal, hello CrazedCommando. Anyway, now I can finally update to a site worth updating, and everything will be glorious.