Dear god

Having just read every single post I ever made on this lousy website, I wish to express my sincerest apologies for the complete shit that I have been pestering you about reading in the time period of 10/04-10/06. Additionally, I would like to show my gratitude to what has been a shockingly loyal readership by updating frequently. I PROMISE!!!!!!!!

A short one to tide you over

Yeah yeah I take too long to update. Sue me.

I dedicate this post to the breed of moron that begin their answering machine messages thus: "Hi/hello, you've reached [insert brainless cretin here]."

OH REALLY? I'VE REALLY REACHED YOU? THEN WHY AREN'T I TALKING TO YOU, DUMBASS?

Honestly, if people can't even be bothered to express a very simple message without resorting to a tired phrase that means the exact opposite of what they are trying to get at, what hope is there for humanity? I elect this group to be summarily executed, right after idiotic MTA employees who install subway advertisements backwards. Let's try and have some standards here, people!